The Skid Mark Surgery

Willis in 'Nam

2006-06-21T19:05:00.000Z

'Me lub you lang time 5 dollar Mr. Willis'

Don't fancy yours much mate! Looks like 'it' might have something to make your eyes water!!

Never mind, eh! Have fun in the 'Nam. Also behave - I don't want to be donning my 'Rambo' or 'Braddock: Missing In Action 3' suits to come and bail you out for anything (Gary Glitter springs to mind). I love the old t'internet - jipping globally available at your fingertips.'

Who is this cheeky chappy 2?

2006-06-16T20:42:00.000Z

Thats right - Andrew 'muppet' Merritt from Sheffield, UK.

Who is this cheeky chappy?

2006-06-16T20:38:00.000Z

Anyone know this guy? I want his tailors contact details.

A new pair of pants

2006-06-16T20:31:00.000Z

Got this pair of top class skidders from a second hand shop. Not too worn out and smell ok. There's a slight brown stain on the gusset but there will soon be more after a few beers and a curry!!

They are a rare pair of Tom Baker 'Dr. Who Vs The Daleks' edition. Got them for a mere 8p and they've got to be worth at least 15p of anyones money - fuckin bargain or what!!!

Wanna see a man in a dinosaur suit fighting a man in a monkey suit?

2006-06-16T20:26:00.000Z

....then check out 'Godzilla Vs King Kong' as it's a belter. This is a picture from the Japanese version. I highly recommend it.

Rating 10/10.

2006-02-06T23:19:00.000Z

2006-01-22T22:03:00.000Z

Mein Gott!!

2005-11-27T12:40:00.000Z

Went out with some friends last night - here's a picture of my mate Paul dancing.

Mr. T says........

2005-11-20T18:51:00.000Z

"Time To Put The Blue Smackdown On Bolton Sucker"

Monday 21st Nov, 8pm

My prediction - Blues win 3-1

Who's The Daddy???

2005-11-19T19:56:00.000Z

ME of course!

Back on track big time today. I thought I'd watch the football on sky sports news with my feet up today whilst playing a bit of poker. So I entered a $10 NL tournament on PP. The tourney totalled 650 entrants and I won for a pick up of $1430. VERY NICE.

Took a little over 5 hours. I managed to get to the final table as the short stack - about 25K. There were a couple of other small stacks and I waited until a few had shot their bolt. I was lying in 7th place with a prize of $260. Now I thought I'd make my move. I copped for pocket K's and doubled up. From that point I raised with any reasonable holding as long as the pot hadn't been opened and this stole a few reasonable pots. I was up and down but played well to get down to the last 3. This stage was very tight and again an aggressive approach was paying well with the other 2 paying a lot of respect to my raises. I think this happened because they'd seen me make a few moves and take 3 out on the final table. Good for me.

The other 2 at this point seemed quiet solid players. The play was tight and the hand which put me in the driving seat was 10 4 off suit. I was big blind and no one raised to allow me to limp in. The flop came 10 7 4. I bet 10K - the minimum - and the 1 guy playing me raised big to 50K. I expected this as he'd come over the top a couple of times when I was in marginal positions and betting to find where I stand.

His raise put a smile on my face. He was a bigger stack than me by about 60K at this point, so I raised to 90K hoping he'd put me all-in. He did this exactly as I expected. I know I could be beat at this point but I thought this was an excellent and favourable situation for me. I pushed all my chips in and he turned 7 K. The flop missed him - DING DANG DOO!!

I was now sitting on 400K and took the small stack out 2 hands later when I pulled 2 pair on the river Q 8's against his hole QJ.

Heads up - I'm on 450K and the other geezer is on 200K. I took a few blinds off him and then hit him hard when he limped in on the SB and I had A 9 suited in the hole. The flop came 9 5 4. I put a bet out and he rasied. I come over the top and he called. Next card didn't help him as he bet out and I put a raise again on him again which lead him to fold leaving him on 50K against my monster stack of 600K. I took him for pairing the 5 or the 4 and I think I was right.

Now I got you sucker I thought. He kept throwing his chips in and if I had a picture I called. He doubled up twice on the trot to put him on 200K. I thought he was just going for a coin toss, which I didn't mind at the time as it was $975 or $1430 for us. Third time he done it I had K 5 suited. I called and he had Q 9. I was happy with this especially as my 5 paired the board and stood up for a well earned victory!!

Very good game all-in-all. I took a couple of chances through the tournament and my boldness was rewarded. At one point about 2 hours in I was down to 825 but some bold poker got me back up and in business. I was struggling at some points and laid some potential winning hands down if the cost to see was prohibitive to my tournament life. When I was within striking distance of the money (paid 70th and up) I tightened right up so that I could get into the money. Once in the money I loosened up a little and started playing aggressive poker - playing my good hands with some weight behind them. Only picked up a couple though, but generally got paid off well when I entered a pot.

The key to this game was PATIENCE and I was extremely patient at times whilst waiting for the right situation to appear. When the tables seemed to tighten up I played more aggresively and pulled a nice couple of all-in bluffs with low or middle pair along the way. As for all the all-in maniacs along the way - you know the type - I only go all-in on my terms and not theirs. I laid down some probable winners against these butt munchers along the way and also took a few of them out knowing that they'd overplay a loser when I was strong - this made me a few chips.

To sum up - an excellent performace if I say so myself!! Played a blinder and made my game pay when it mattered most throughout the tourament.

Footbal results didn't go too bad either!! We're yet to play and Sunderland lost - which means we can't be bottom of the league.

Right - off to spunk $8 of my winnings on a few cans of Stella Artois to celebrate!!

A Pick Up At Last.....

2005-11-18T19:01:00.000Z

Seems like a while but I finally picked up a small SnG tourney ($5 in) for $25. Put the chips in when I had anything reasonable, lots of raises on the BB and button picked many hands up. Loosend up compared to how I've ben playing this week and it paid dividends. Sometimes the 'any 2 can win' approach pays dividends. Wouldn't do that all the time though.

Played very well when I could smell the $'s. Good thing is the fact I was in bully boy mode and picked my big moves well after probing the table in the early rounds whilst the blinds were small. No big bucks but back on track......Best hand - going in on a bluff with 78 suited and a getting a run on the river to double up when I was small stack mid game. Shit or bust move paid off..........nice.

Its The Weekend...............

2005-11-18T17:55:00.000Z

Looks like a potential disaster on the footy front - Birmingham have got Bolton at home and Bolton are flying. Worse still, Sunderland are below us in last place in the league and they play Villa. If Sunderland win and we lose then we are bottom of the league. THAT CANNOT HAPPEN!

Bolton being Bolton WILL make us work our asses off and get a result. I hope. This could be make or break.

As for Jiri Jarovsik, if he don't want to play for us I'll happily buy the twat a one-way ticket back to where ever the ass-wipe come from. He's a good player - but you don't want to wear Blue? Then sod off!!

Now the poker action - mmmm - just finished 132nd out of 800 in a NL tournament but butted out because I'm off out for some booze fuelled action. TIP - avoid bitter and real ale as these are prime candidates for leaving gravy stains in your kecks.

I'll be posting my thoughts on an absolutely terrible couple of hands last night in a 3-table tournament soon. The hands were 2 pair both times going out to mooks chasing 2 cards for a run. These hands were on the trot.......which I find a little unbelievebale. But I see it happen on PP too often. makes you wonder sometimes...........

Remeber,
those who wipe at least twice,
keep there nipsy sweet and nice!

So, laters for now.

$20 Multi table NL - 20 players.....

2005-11-16T20:19:00.000Z

Lets see if I can cause some brown stripes in my opponents under garments here tonight....

To The (condensed) Action....Not getting many cards. Down to 815 after 4 rounds. Pissing my chips away trying to put people off playing against my middle pairs. Time to stop pratting around and get tight 'n aggressive. Not going well at all, lots of very poor hole cards - Q5off, 94off and so on. Gotta pick it up as getting blinded out. A 10 siuted..Called, bet out on flop, lost 175 chips. A Q off suit - raised, got called by 1, missed flop lost 200 chips. AJ suited, raised in 3rd position, got called - flop comes 7 5 9 rainbow. I go all in to steal pot, muppet calls with 7 J in hole. Fucked it, 16th.

Oh well, its like that sometimes. Struggling for cards so had to make a move on not ideal hands. Didn't flop a pair bigger than 6's. To sum it up in a word....Arsewipe.

I can surely do better than that! Time to Poo-Stain some suckers.... $10 Sit N Go, eyes down - look in! 800 chips, thank you dealer! First on BB - not good. Down to 755 after 2 hands. Called 5 on SB with my K4 and flop comes K 7 9 and I lead out with 15, raised to 125 by 3rd bettor - I fold. That tit ends up going all in and out on 2 pair 7 9's against the other mook who was chasing a flush and caught it. Mein Gott!! Still shite....Lots of all-ins flying in pre-flop. Down to 695 after posting some blinds and trying to defend turd hands. Too many mooks. A 10 suited late position, I open for 60. 2 callers. Flop comes 7 5 4, some tit goes all in. I fold. AQ shares pot, I'm on 645. SB and I'm on A2 hearts. Flop comes A57. I bet 125 and get 1 call. Ace comes on river and I've got 435. I go all-in as theres a potential flush draw and I want to price him out. He folds, I could played slower but I didn't want to risk him hitting flush and find out if he was holding A anything. If he had A I was beat probably so thought all-in was only option to try and get some chips. Few hands on....still getting shite. 7 out of 10 left - 2 stacks similar to mine - getting small!! Bluff A6off and A7off to pull in a couple of 100 by raising pre-flop and leading out with a decent bet. Tables tightening up and a raise pre-flop is getting respect. Chipstack now 1078, catching up with the average.

Down to 5 and I'm small stack by about 600. I reckon I can take them. Twats! Some tit called my all-in on the river with K3 in the hole and none of the board against my 7's - with 10 7 in hole on SB and I raised to 300 to try and steal - and turns a K on river. This is after I was betting into him strong! Board was 7 5 9, J. You can't beat a fool. Maybe my bet was not too wise but I knew he was a mook and had nowt. Finished 5th....... Shitter.

That has pissed me right off! Here we go again...$10 SnG, 800 chips. Pull 300 in on first hand with A6off. QQ next hand loses gain when A turns on 4th st. Time for to inflict the Turtles Head on my opponents! Not playing until I get premiun hole cards or see free flops on BB. Don't think I've hit a flop yet or had anything playable really, apart from Q's - and got chinned! Not too far off leader though. FUCK ME! AK beat again, 8 9 10 J 2 on board - I can't see that. Tried to finish it on flop but got called down, bollocks..... down to 435 and 6 left in. This is the worst session I've ever had..........busted with 2 pair KQ's in the hole - I go all in on turn by some bandito chasing A with AQ in hole - Ace comes on river.

This is terrible tonight..........Been playing too tight and like a pussy - cards have been piss poor but I never blame the cards. Been playing in massive tournaments over the last week and I put it down to that. My game has been tighter than a rats ass, which it needs to be in them games to get into the money. Need to get back into final table mode. I'm a bully by nature and don't seem to be playing very well against bullies and mooks tonight - which I normally can handle - usually by waiting and picking my moment, then slow playing a strong hand against them to make them think twice about pushing me around or calling my raises with rags. I like a decent holding to make the move. Just got busted AGAIN! AK and I raise to 100 - get 1 caller. Flop comes 6 K Q. He goes all in after I lead out with 300 and I call for another 300 and me all in. He's got KQ in hole and I miss the A. What a Fudge-Muncher he is. Thats bullshit tonight, but it's like that sometimes.

Fuck it... I'm gonna get a bifta and beer on the go and raise my game on a $5 table. Lets see what happens this time, same shit as before probably..........55 mins have past and out in 4th. played better, much more aggressive and back to something like my normal game.

All-in-all a bad night. Not my usual game. Tough.

Here we go......

2005-11-16T19:03:00.000Z

These 2 young chaps have managed to nip in on their Dads pc to download load some hardcore and took the time out to pose me a question regarding their 'problem'. Rory, on the right wants some advice on how to dispel his pant spoiling habit.

Well, looking at that Rory, I suggest next time you go to off-load your poo tube you may want to consider keeping some sand paper, a hair dryer and plenty of boiling water handy. firstly, blast any potential clagnut material with the hair dryer until its nice, dry and crispy (eg. pork scratching texture). Then rub vigourously with the sand paper and then rinse thoroughly with the boiling water. That should leave your ring piece totally clear! Remember A CLEAN CRACK = NO SKIDS.

How many of Yorkshires finest Constables........

2005-11-16T18:56:00.000Z

.........does it take to arrest a young Asian lad with a dodgy tash? 14 of the biggest, ugliest twats apparently. Well that's what I seen on my way home from work. Barstards.

The Skid Mark Surgery

2005-11-16T18:18:00.000Z

Welcome to 'The Skid Mark Surgery'. Its about poker and football and other stuff I feel compelled to include. Firstly, hello. Secondly, I play play poker and will be posting lots of shit about it. Thirdly, you'll be getting lots of football banter - especially about Birmingham City.

So to start, a big middle finger is raised to any Villa fans who read this. Also, on the very remote chance that any Argentinians read this - I've got 3 words to say to you - Rooney, Owen and Owen!! Have it muppets!!

So, back to the poker. NL is my game and you'll find me floating around mainly on Party Poker playing Sit N Go's from $5 up to $200 depending on the old bankroll. Also I play no limit tables - usually the 10 player tables from $25 upto $200. You also might also taste some pain if bump into me in any multi table tournaments. I play under the name 'Gee_Style'.

Right, that's enough of the bullsheeeet. Now the business......

This week has been good. Entered a $5 Limit tournament last Friday and battered my way to 3rd out of 1100 players for a nice pick up of $508. Sunday I was placed 13th in a $5 NL tournament with 1200 players for $60. So not too bad so far.

To late to do a review of the tournaments but played tight and aggressive both tourneys and took a couple of chances early on to see me through to the money. Nice.

There'll be plenty of chat about strategy and stuff as and when it happens.